Press Releases & Updates 2006

A group of Citizen Weapons Inspectors (CWI) arrived at the office of John Reid today, to question him about his complicity in war crimes.

John Reid is head of a sinister criminal gang known as the ‘Ministry of Defence’ who are known to be in possession of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD), and who have invaded and occupied Iraq and are further responsible for the beating and torture of Iraqi prisoners.

Using red and white caution tape, the Weapons Inspectors (including two undercover Rebel Clowns) cordoned off a Scene of Crime outside one of Reid’s known hangouts a ‘Constituency Office” in Airdrie. Using a metal detector, fingerprint dust and magnifying glasses, they searched for clues as to his whereabouts. When they asked inside the office if he had been seen recently, they were told that he was “abroad”.

The CWI team then leafleted the town centre and put up wanted posters offering a Reward of ‘£1,000,000,000 for Health, Education and Poverty’ for information leading to his conviction.

When they learned of his sudden departure, a spokesman for the Citizen Weapons Inspectors team, who are from the Local Heroes affinity group of Trident Ploughshares, warned the public to beware of approaching Reid and said, “This man is heavily armed and dangerous. It comes as no surprise to learn that Reid has fled abroad in an attempt to evade justice, but we will find him wherever he is and hold him accountable for his crimes against humanity.”

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